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Armed Gunmen, True Facts, and Other Ridiculous Nonsense

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Richard Kallan, Director
560 Ricardo Avenue
Santa Barbara, CA 93109-1624
800-U-End Fog
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ARMED GUNMEN, TRUE FACTS, AND OTHER RIDICULOUS NONSENSE: A COMPILED COMPENDIUM OF REPETITIVE REDUNDANCIES

When was the last time you entered your pin number into the ATM machine? Or longed for the perfect Utopia? Using unnecessary words can make written and spoken language a disorganized mess, but it's not just stupid idiots who do so. We're all guilty, and this irreverent collection of tautologies catalogs our most common redundancies and wittily defines them. A funny comic, for instance, is "one who's employed"; a black crow is "the outcast in those large albino flocks"; and a surviving widow is the "the last one standing in an all-widow game of Russian roulette." Other examples include:

  • Armed gunmen: When you need to distinguish between two gunmen, one of whom is missing a couple of limbs.
  • Ridiculous nonsense: Nonsense unencumbered by thoughtful analysis.
  • Hot water heater: Stolen merchandise.
  • Clinging vine: A needy variety of vine usually in a co-dependent relationship with a trellis.
  • Extreme fanatic: One repulsed by moderate fanaticism.
  • Monetary fine: When you want to ensure that payment isn't made with three chickens and a goat.
  • Joint partnership: Two potheads smoking dope.


illustrated with comically apt reproductions
by the nineteenth-century artist
George Cruikshank

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Beautifully designed and illustrated with comically apt reproductions by the nineteenth-century artist George Cruikshank, Armed Gunmen, True Facts, and Other Ridiculous Nonsense is a welcome antidote to a growing tendency in contemporary usage—and the perfect book for grammarphobes, word geeks, and language lovers alike.

REVIEWS

Those bothered by the silly redundancies embedded in such terms as ATM machine or LCD display should consider this book a much-needed necessity.
--Entertainment Weekly, "The Must [Have] List" for the week of May 13, 2005

Nowadays, we are surrounded on all sides by a huge multitude of recurrently repetitive redundancies. In Armed Gunmen, Richard Kallan takes witty aim at these bloated absurdities and kills them dead, which is surely the best way to do it.
--Richard Lederer, author of Anguished English

Kallan opens our eyes to how we abuse language and meaning in the interest of sounding smart or out of laziness or lack of understanding....This is a great book for all lovers of language.
--The Grand Rapids Press

I immediately started reading the best parts aloud. There are lots of best parts.
--Salisbury Post

A book that makes [its] point to hilarious effect.
--Fayetteville Observer

Charmingly compiled.
--Contra Costa Times

Being a writer of sorts, I especially loved this book.
--Tucson Citizen

A titillating compendium . . . filled with wonderful examples . . . [that] will appeal to loads of people interested in the challenges of language.
--Santa Barbara News-Press

If you like a little laughter with your learning, here's a perfect book for you.
--Absolute Write

It is a hilarious read that . . . entertains us royally.
--Lancette Journal of the Arts

Our final conclusion is that Richard Kallan, the author of this compiled compendium, has successfully accomplished his task of writing about repetitious redundancies that is vastly superior than other collections of repetitious tautologies.
--The Internet Writing Journal


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HOW TO TAKE THE FOG OUT OF BUSINESS WRITING

Poor writing is costly. Just how costly? Consider all the extra hours we spend "interpreting" unnecessarily long and dense prose only to be still confused and frustrated. Add the huge cost of imprecision—more money spent on paper, ink, copying, postage, and transmission time—and you begin to get some idea of the problem. Billions of dollars are wasted each year, draining profits that no company can afford. learn more





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